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Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

  • 1.  Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 11 days ago

    Good morning,

     

    We received a gift from a donor who checked "Mx." as the female's prefix.  She is married to a "Mr." in our database.  My question is how to address the joint salutation.  Our policy is to list a married couple, who share the same last name, as "Mr. and Mrs. Martin", listing the man first in a male/female relationship.  We have not encountered a "Mr." (man) and "Mx." (female) relationship until now and are reaching out to find out what your policies are for this circumstance.

     

    Thanks so much everyone!  Summer

     

    Summer Brown

    University of Arkansas

    Director of Records and Data Services

    Administrative and Development Services

    UNHS 307

    Fayetteville, AR 72701

    479-575-6980

    summerb@uark.edu



  • 2.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 11 days ago

    Hi Summer,

     

    You refer to the person who chose Mx. as female multiple times. I suspect if they wanted to be referred to as female they would have chosen one of the gendered options. So, be careful with that. When in doubt, I always go with full names: Mr. Jack Doe and Mx. Pat Doe. Or switch them.

     

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    Bill Wong
    Manager of Giving Operations
    Savannah College of Art and Design ®


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    wswong@scad.edu / www.scad.edu

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  • 3.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 11 days ago

    If the last names are the same I would follow the Mr. and Mx. [last name]. Otherwise I would opt for Mr. [last name] and Mx. [last name]. We don't have a policy on this (yet), but I wouldn't treat Mx. much differently than a Mr. or Ms./Mrs. since it's not like Dr. or The Honorable, etc.

    I would also assume that the individual is indicating themselves as non-binary, rather than female, with the Mx. honorific. I would consider this to be especially important to know for gift officers, and donor relations/communications.

     

    Ethan Polson

    Manager, Development Database Services | Philadelphia Zoo

    P: 215-243-5272 | E: polson.ethan@phillyzoo.org

    3400 W. Girard Ave | Philadelphia, PA 19104

     

     






  • 4.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 11 days ago
    I think it's important to acknowledge who is the primary donor in this case.  With a non-binary prefix, you should not make any assumptions on the relationship.  However, your salutation rules are based on the assumption of gender, which in this case is unknown.  I think either Mr. & Mx. [last name] or even Mx. and Mr. [last name] would be fine, depending on the relationship of whom is the primary donor.

    ------------------------------
    Dariel Dixon
    Business Analyst
    REX Healthcare Foundation
    dariel.dixon@UNCHEALTH.UNC.EDU
    ------------------------------



  • 5.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 11 days ago
    I would like to go out on a limb here - and suggest that you contact the donor and their partner by phone or email and ask THEM what they prefer rather than guess.

    John

    John H. Taylor
    Principal
    John H. Taylor Consulting, LLC
    2604 Sevier St.
    Durham, NC   27705
    919.816.5903 (cell/text)

    Serving the Advancement Community Since 1987







  • 6.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 11 days ago

    Many of our membership programs are moving away from using prefixes at all, unless the donor pro-actively provides one, so we don't have many cases where this has come up.  But I would agree with Dariel that either Mr. and Mx. [last name] or Mx. and Mr. [last name] would be fine.  I'd also think that using both full names (e.g. Mr. [first name middle name last name] and Mx. [first name middle name last name], or in the other order) would also be fine. 

     

    If we knew that the relationship with one of the entities was primary, we'd likely put that name first.  And, of course, if we knew the specific preference of the constituent, we'd certainly reflect that, but we often don't, and our membership programs have only limited bandwidth to reach out to constituents about their preferences.

     

    My US$0.02 worth; the usual disclaimers apply.

     

    Good luck!

     

    Alan

     

    Alan S. Hejnal   

    Data Quality Manager

    Smithsonian Institution - Office of Advancement

    600 Maryland Ave SW Ste 600E

    PO Box 37012, MRC 527

    Washington, DC 20013-7012

    Voice: 202-633-8754 | Email: HejnalA@si.edu                                                                                                                                            

    SNAGHTML5cbfa34                                                                                                                            

     

     






  • 7.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 10 days ago
    Good Morning,
    We have a standard for couple addressee/salutation, but always make exceptions when the donor tells us that he/she would like a different version. We leave a note explaining why it is not according to our standard/procedure.

    Marion Campbell
    Director, Gifts & Records
    Georgia State University Foundation

    ------------------------------
    Marion Campbell
    Senior Director Gifts & Records
    Georgia State University
    mcampbell11@gsu.edu
    ------------------------------



  • 8.  RE: Joint Salutation with Mr. and Mx. prefix

    Posted 10 days ago

    That's been the way it's been handled regardless of where I've worked over the years. You have a standard, and then make exceptions based on donor / constituent preference.

     

    Robin

     

     

     

     

    ROBIN L. ONSA

    Development Manager, Prospect Research & Management | Goodwill San Francisco, San Mateo and Marin Counties

    750 Post Street | San Francisco, CA 94109

    Phone (415) 575-2154 | Mobile (415) 606-8134 

    ronsa@sfgoodwill.org | sfgoodwill.org

    We create second chances through training and the dignity of work.